Swallowed My Pride

What is the reason for asking for help? I can nurse my own wounds, right? Wrong!!!

The idea of asking for help bothers me. I’m a big girl, I can do it. And, you know what else? Big girls don’t cry. I prefer to do it on my own, but occasionally we have to ask for help. Spring 2012 semester. The usual excitement was not there, but then again, it has never been there. I really don’t like school, but it’s one of those things I feel I need to do. It seems to be the more prudent choice, and the only way to futuristically stand on my own. Over and over, I’ve heard get your education, and no one can take it away. I like my own stuff, so I’m getting my education.

Well, I’ll just take a seat, sit back and relax, I’m here now. The teacher initially listed was well-known around campus. He had a good reputation, and the students said he was the best. Then, in walks another guy on the first day of class: A short white guy with glasses. Wait, he’s smiling as he walks in. Hmmm…that’s odd, but he seems nice. Still, it’s too early to tell; so, I’m not excited. His name isn’t the same as the well-known guy around campus. His name doesn’t match the teacher listed either. Please, tell me I’m not in the wrong class! Later, it was confirmed he would be the teacher. Surprisingly, I don’t mind a change. Weird, because change is scary. Apathy Day?
“ Okay, we’ll start with introductions,” says Mr. X. Great, just great, I thought. I have nothing to say, way too much pressure for this girl. Does it even matter who I am? None of these people will remember me. Now, I make it my business not to allow my teachers to know my name early in the semester. It’s not always possible, but I have my ways. The purpose for the plan is to avoid that, ‘Oh no please don’t call on me’ feeling. Plus,  If you don’t know my name, you won’t call on me. Clever, I know. I’m such a smart girl, haha. I usually accomplish the mission unless I start saying something dead on or something dead off. So far it seems I’m accomplishing my goal. Awesome, we’re smooth sailing. He doesn’t call on me. I was fine. I was cooler than the flip side of my pillow. He looks like that little guy from the show, The Voice. I wonder if he knows that. Maybe I should tell him. Noooo, telling him this would constitute as me saying something dead on or dead off. I’m choosing to keep my mouth shut. We still have a few more weeks in the class. I started to notice something about myself as the teacher went over Chapter X. Chapter X and Mr. X made me aware of my little issue.
He and Chapter X piqued my interest. I can’t raise my hand– Not today, the semester is not over yet. We have one more week. But, I have to ask these questions. He seems to really understand.  I set out on a quest to find the PERFECT day to ask about Chapter X and my little complex—strategic planning on full blast. The time has come; I swallowed my pride and entered his office with my questions. OMG, I ramble, stumble, tumble over every single word. That same smile from the first day of class appeared on his face which calmed me and reminded me that asking for help was just what I needed to do. Things are better now. As with everything it takes time. I’m glad my teacher was the short guy with glasses and a SMILE. I’m glad I swallowed my pride and asked for help.

Just Smile

Just Smile

 A smile is undoubtedly inviting to a person in need. Swallowing your pride occasionally is necessary.
Proverbs 16:18 – Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 19:20 – Listen to counsel and receive instruction,That you may be wise in your latter days.



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